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Alfie ('04).....B

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"ALFIE"(2004)

Grade: B, 5/10
Recommended? Neutral.
"Alfie" is elevated by a charming performance by Jude Law, who's perfect for this role. Furthermore, this movie offers strong performances and is beautifully filmed.

Ultimately, however, there is very little story here in this remake of the original 1966 movie starring Michael Caine. Both movies deal with a pathetic man who is a louse and, eventually, a loser at life as he is toxic to everyone with whom he has a relationship.

As well done as this movie is, the case has still not been made as to why a remake of this film was thought to be necessary. The biting edge has been taken off Jude Law's updated but still misogynistic Alfie and the women in his romantic orbit are much more worldly wise than before, but so what?
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MOVIE FACTOIDS:
Director: Charles Shyer
Play: Bill Naughton
Screenplay: (Earlier, Bill Naughton)
Current Screenplay: Elaine Pope and Charles Shyer
Primary actors: Jude Law, Omar Epps, Jane Krakowski, Nia Long, Sienna Miller, Marisa Tomei, and Susan Sarandon

Movie rating: R for sexual content, some language and drug use.
Movie run time: 103 minutes

RottenTomatoes - 47% Critical Approval Rating (Anything below 60% is unfavorable)
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A movie review by Carl Zapffe (11/10/04)


MOVIE CRITIQUE:
Perhaps we think back more fondly on the 1966 version of "Alfie" because it was the third hit in a row for a young Michael Caine and his lowbrow Cockney accent. As a British import, Caine first appeared in "Zulu" in 1964, and followed that with his role as a spy in the 1965 hit, "The Ipcress File." His appearance as the charming louse in "Alfie" in 1966 confirmed his rise to fame as a full fledged star on both sides of the Atlantic.

Caine's Alfie possessed more of a bite as he was even more cruel than Jude Law in his earlier role. Women's liberation has yet to be born and Caine's Alfie had even less of a conscience than does Jude Law in this newer iteration of the role. Furthermore, women today are much more proactive in their relationships, much more worldly wise in their choice of men, much more sophisticated as to knowing what men want out of them, and much more equal in their sexual proclivities and mores.

The nearly 40 years that have passed since the first "Alfie" came out has seen the scales of sex balance much more to one of near equality as women today are almost as likely to pursue men for what they want as they are to allow men to pursue them for the same reasons. On this point, one does have to question why anyone would think that this is a movie that possesses a crying need for being remade.

I will grant that Jude Law is perfect in this role of a pleasure seeking British misogynist who carries on a one-sided, running conversation with the theater audience. While charming at first, I am not at all convinced that this is enough for any movie, much less a repeat performance of a 1966 movie that has only been slightly updated to contemporary times and a New York locale.

Ultimately this movie is about a loser at life because he lacks the ability to search for anything more than sensual joy in his female companions. His brain is located below his belt and what little regret that Alfie expresses late in the movie when the tables have been turned on him does not necessarily imply a growth of his personality or a maturation in his understanding of relationships.

This is sad because all of the women in this film are extraordinarily attractive and several are quite devoted to him in spite of their being aware of his deficiencies.

"Alfie" is like a visit to a time capsule of the Sixties when Playboy Magazine promoted the idea of women as bunnies and playmates suitable for sexual gratification and little else. Both sexes share this proclivity to objectify the opposite sex based on their sexual preferences, but one might assume that we have learned since then that there is much more to relationships than a one night stand without any followup interest in the partner as a person.

Commitment may still be a dirty word to some, but I would prefer to have the entire package, not just the wrapping. This preference applies equally to my tastes in movies.

One final minor complaint about "Alfie" has to do with Jude Law's makeup artist and his constant appearance with facial stubble and tousled hair like he has just gotten out of bed. I detest this manner of sporting one's hair as if a comb and a razor blade have yet to be invented and I can't wait for the next new appearance by urban metrosexual models in the vain hope that we might once again end up in an era when being well groomed is considered to be important.
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MOVIE SYNOPSIS:
Alfie (Jude Law) is a swinging single living the good life in New York City as a driver of a limousine, a job that allows him to meet a lot of different people and to go to places where he might meet even more.

(An aside might be made here that I have some difficulty believing in his prowess with the women given that fact that far too many Manhattanites are obsessed with a man's career and his economic situation. His (Alfie) is a pretty face but he has little else to offer besides his boyish charm and the ability to deliver prepackaged compliments when least expected.)

Alfie's limousine company is owned by Mr. Wing (Gedde Watanabe, from John Hughes' movie, "Sixteen Candles") who is assisted by his wife (Jo Yang). He is a manager from the old school and he harasses his wife repeatedly for her perceived shortcomings, so we see that Alfie has a manager who treats women even worse than he does.

Alfie's one male friend is Marlon (Omar Epps), a friendly Black man who Alfie one day hopes will join him in business together in the ownership of their own limousine company. At the moment, however, Marlon is brokenhearted over the breakup with his girlfriend, a bar waitress named Lonette (Nia Long), for his having cheated on her. He misses her and he now fully appreciates what he has lost. He cries on Alfie's shoulder that she is the one and he wants to marry her, but she delivers their beers with a coldness that is far more chilled than the brews they are drinking.

In his limo Alfie delivers a soliloquy on beautiful women as possessing the three "B's," a British term for a face, Breasts, and a Bum (butt). This is just about all that he is interested in in his one dimensional life, and each woman with whom he has an affair will be observed, and graded, as to the quality of each of her three B's.

Late one evening Alfie makes love in the back seat of his limo to Dorie (Jane Krakowski), a comely blonde with lovely long legs. He is beginning to withdraw from this relationship, however, as Dorie is starting to voice hopes of being able to move their relationship forward to the next level, something that Alfie has no interest in doing.

He drops her off and then drives over to an apartment belonging to Julie (Marisa Tomei), the one relationship that has lasted for a considerable period of time. This is where he crashes when he does not choose to go home to his small studio apartment that is hardly lived in, much less decorated. Julie is a single mother with a young son, a child that Alfie enjoys knowing but also represents an example of an impediment in sexual relationships that he generally avoids at all costs.

One of Julie's assets is that she is a good cook and loves to make Alfie a delicious meal. After a nice dinner she wants to have some romance, but Alfie turns her down, claiming that he is too tired at the moment. Maybe tomorrow morning, he suggests to her. Of greater concern to him is properly disposing of Dorie's red panties, which he does not want Julie to find in his pocket. He surreptitiously buries them deeply in Julie's kitchen garbage can.

One night Alfie goes over to the bar where Lonette works in an effort to persuade her to take Marlon back. They exchange pleasantries over a game of pool in the deserted bar, as it is now late at night and well past closing time. Shot after shot of Amaretto results in a passionate sexual encounter right there on the pool table.

The next day Marlon is thrilled to be back in Lonette's good graces, which makes him deeply curious as to what Alfie said to heal the rift between them. Alfie is understandably reluctant to disclose his "secret method," so he offers a non-explanation that satisfies the now deliriously happy Marlon.

Alfie for once feels that he deserves considerable credit for having done this good deed for his best friend. He is less than enthralled, however, when Lonette comes to see him some weeks later and informs him that she is pregnant. He drives her to an abortion clinic and he waits outside for her while she has her appointment with the doctor.

Winter is coming and Alfie, not having any family with whom to celebrate Christmas and New Year's, curses the holiday season as the only time of the year when he is lonely. Once again fortune smiles on him when he picks up a party of younger adults in Central Park. A gorgeous blonde, Nikki (Sienna Miller), is among the group and sparks of sexual tension quickly fly between the two.

Nikki soon moves into his apartment and for a while Alfie is content with this woman who is just about as lovely as they come. Furthermore, Nikki also loves to cook and she helps in the decoration of his apartment. Her one failing is that she is on medication for a bipolar disorder and she doesn't always take her medication. Nikki prefers to treat herself by smoking pot instead, a medication that usually leaves her mellow instead of bipolar.

Even this vision of loveliness who is deeply devoted to him soon wears thin and Alfie comes home one evening prepared to drop the bombshell of now "dumping" her. Too bad she has prepared his favorite meal of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding and has the table set and lit by candle light to add to the romance.

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