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This Spanish import was initially released as "Crimen Ferpecto," with the "F" and the "P" in
"Perfecto" reversed in an allusion to the screwball mishaps that occur in the story. Fearing that Americans would
not understand the use of the word, "Ferpecto," in the title as a linguistic play on words for comedic purposes,
the movie's title has been changed for its American release to what translates as "The Perfect Crime."
This film is a riot and a wickedly funny black comedy par excellence no matter what title it is given. Everything is played
with tongue in cheek, and sometimes there aren't enough tongues and cheeks as so much of it is so far over the top. It will
never be shown in wide release as it is a foreign language, art house type of film. However, if you see that it is showing
in a theater anywhere near you, then please take my advise and make the effort to see it, as this is one funny movie.
Rafael Gonzalez (Guillermo Toledo) is a dashing, urbane, lady's man who manages the women's section of a high end department
store (similar to our Marshall Field's or Macy's) as if it were his own personal kingdom. Enjoying the sexual favors of his
beautiful employees, all of whom are tall, lithe, long legged and full breasted, is an added bonus as he hired them all and
they all owe their jobs to him.
He treats them all, each in her own turn while the others eye the choice of the moment with glances of jealousy, to a
late night dinner and a sexual romp in the store with liberal use of the store's supply of beds, closets, and especially the
use of the food pantry with fresh lobsters ready for cooking and fine wine ready for decanting. The guards with their ferocious
dogs are paid off to tell him how much time he has left before they complete their three hour rounds so that he and his nubile
babe have the maximum amount of privacy in the interim.
Rafael is on top of the world and life is wonderful. It is all coming together and soon he will achieve his long held
dream of a fancy sports car and a mansion in the country, but no wives or screaming and drooling kids, if you please.
The one fly in his career ointment is Don Antonio Fraguas (Luis Varela), the portly, older manager of the men's department
across the aisle, but Rafael sniffs down his nose at this portly caricature of a man with his grotesque toupee.
Then the owner this downtown department store known as Yeyo's dies suddenly and the board of directors needs someone to
manage the entire store.
Rafael now sees his dream and his future even more clearly. He could be the king of the world if this opportunity were
to become his, but standing in his way is Don Antonio, now his nemesis, as the Board places them in direct competition with
each other. Whoever has the highest grossing numbers will become the new manager of the entire company.
It all comes down to the last day and for the first time ever Rafael is nervous. Don Antonio has just sold an expensive,
custom made tuxedo for thousands of Euros and he is now leading in the sales contest.
Rafael has no customers with that kind of potential until he spots Doña Asunción (Isabel Osca), an older woman who is
browsing through the store. He recognizes the signals that she has money but needs encouragement on where to spend it. He
romances her and sweet talks her until she is convinced that she just has to have a luxury fur coat that sells for 12,000
Euros.
Rafael wins the contest, but his joy at being the new manager of the entire store turns to ashes the next day when Doña
Asunción's check bounces. His erstwhile rival Don Antonio is now declared the new manager.
When Rafael later spies the woman once again shopping in his department, he goes over to her and insults her for letting
the check bounce. She apologizes, but his anger overflows and he continues to berate her, all the while using a great deal
of abusive language. Don Antonio takes great pleasure, too much pleasure, in firing Rafael for insulting one of the store's
customers in public.
Later that afternoon the two men meet in the dressing rooms and their enmity towards each other quickly results in a knock
down, drag out fight.
Suddenly Don Antonio grows pale and his eyes glaze over. He has accidentally been impaled in the back on a dressing room
coat hook.
Rafael leaves him to hang there with the door locked while he figures out what to do with the body. Of more immediate
concern is the fact that the next dressing stall was occupied, but the woman in it disappears into the throng of shoppers.
Later the guards see that the door is locked but they don't see any feet when they look under the door, so they assume that
the dressing room is empty.
That night in between the guard's rounds, Rafael wheels the body of Don Antonio down to the furnace room in one of the
store's shopping carts. His intent is to burn the body in the furnace, but he finds that the corpse is too big to fit inside
the furnace door. He also finds out that a cleaver from the food pantry isn't enough to do the job of hacking the body into
pieces small enough to fit into the furnace. Or it could be that he doesn't have the proper technique.
After searching for a better tool of disposal, Rafael returns to the furnace room and is shocked beyond belief to see
that the shopping cart is empty. A state of confusion alternates with a state of paranoia during the next few hours.
The next day the police, led by the bug-eyed Inspector Campoy (Enrique Villén), show up to interrogate the staff after
Don Antonio's wife reports her husband to be missing. Rafael admits to the altercation but he is also totally honest when
he tells the detective that he does not know where Don Antonio is. He would be a prime suspect but another store employee
surprisingly admits to seeing Don Antonio after work.
Rafael gets a cryptic note telling him that he has a partner who knows where the body is and that person will be a confederate
if he comes to the store cafeteria. He runs to the cafeteria only to find that the signal comes from a fellow employee of
his, Lourdes (Mónica Cervera), one of the few long time employees in the women's section who is plain, ugly, actually, if
truth be told. She is obviously a woman that he did not hire.
Lourdes quickly comes to the point. Yes, she knows where the body is as she hid it where no one will find it. She will
help him, but she also wants his respect. She knows all about all his little flings and they will have to stop. She seethes
with anger at all of the woman who have gotten by on their good looks. His first sign of an acquiescence to their partnership
is the firing of one of his beautiful, valued employees.
What can Rafael do? Lourdes has got him in a box. Soon Lourdes will ask for more, much more, even for his love. The bar
of her demands keeps rising ever more and Rafael quickly finds himself in a hell on earth with all his former dreams smashed
to smithereens.
"El Crimen Perfecto" has a lot going for it, but it is not without some small flaws.
Some may be offended by the somewhat gratuitous display of beautiful, half naked women and the many scenes of simulated
sexual activity, but I am not one of them as this is an integral part of the story and of Rafael's character. However, this
point ought to be made.
Sadly, of greater importance is that the story ends with a whimper and not with a bang of black comedy. I could have enjoyed
a much darker ending, but my disappointment with the last five minutes certainly does not come close to overshadowing my enjoyment
of the first 100 minutes of this movie.
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