"ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL"(2006) This movie is mildly recommended as a movie, but more strongly recommended as a satire about the dangers of receiving a liberal arts education from those teachers who only teach because they are failures in the real world. They are so jealous of their students' possible success that they will sometimes work to undercut them so that they are sure to fail.

This is one of those movies that shoots for the moon and almost makes it. Almost. The background for this film comes from a comic story by Daniel Clowes, who also authored the screenplay for this movie. As you might imagine, the "Confidential" in the title suggests something lurid and titillating reminiscent of those celebrity, gossip, and police detective magazines that were so popular during the middle of the last century.

The title also suggests something over the top, perhaps something about a murder mystery. We get all of that and more, but what we really get is a broad brush satire which occasionally hits the mark with its deadly aim and ends up being quite funny. Unfortunately, there is also much here that is so over the top that it ends up being just deadly rather than being funny.

I have to give author Cloves and director Zwigoff a great deal of credit for this satire about life at an academy for the arts in New York City. Far too often filmmakers play it safe to score with a potential audience rather than being more adventurous so that they might score with the more demanding and discerning cinemaphiles.

Jerome Platz (Max Minghella) is a sensitive high school student with real artistic talent. He is so "sensitive" that even his parents fear that he might be gay. He is a loser at high school who is picked on by the school bullies. That would almost be okay if he were a hit with the girls, but he strikes out there as well in spite of the fact that they love to have him draw their portraits. Jerome is in agony as the pretty girls gush over his portraits and then waltz off in the arms of his mortal enemies.

Jerome idolizes Picasso as his hero for all the wrong reasons since he is very ambitious and Picasso was a very wealthy and successful artist. Better yet, Picasso was short, bald, and ugly and he still got all the girls. While Jerome looks like he might be gay, he is in reality decidedly heterosexual.

I should add here that Max Minghella is perfectly cast as Jerome. He is short, slight of physique, and has such deeply expressive brown eyes that even the girls comment about them with a touch of envious admiration.

Jerome, a resident of an upper middle class suburb of New York City who has rarely ventured downtown, is sold on attending the Strathmore School of Fine Art in New York City partly because of a picture of a model in the school brochure who happens to represent his female ideal.

Once enrolled as a freshman at Strathmore, Jerome meets every single stereotypical student that author Clowes could dream up. They are all in his freshman classes, including the hippy, the nympho, the suck up student, the laid back student who is repeating the courses, the semi-talented student, the angry lesbian, the male with the model good looks, and more. They're all there except for gorgeous females. Jerome isn't going to be that lucky.

One of his roommates is Vince (Ethan Supplee), a film fanatic who is trying to create a documentary about about a series of murders that have been terrorizing those who live and work in the area around the school. He lives his life on the edge with a volatile temper to match. Fortunately, he has a doting grandfather who is willing to finance his cinematic efforts.

The other roommate is is a fashion designer who dresses like a preppy but has yet to decide whether come out of the closet, even to himself.

The student that Jerome most closely identifies with happens to be that laid back student who keeps repeating the courses. Bardo (Joel Moore) is a hippy by nature who exhibits no ambition in contrast to Jerome's overweening ambition, but the two get along well because they are honest and friendly with one another.

Bardo has by now seen it all, and he delights in categorizing all of the students and then pointing out each of the stereotypes to Jerome. For a while Bardo is stymied as to what category Jerome will fit into, and then he belatedly decides that Jerome is "the school douche bag." Even with all his talent on display in an academy devoted to the arts, he still falls into the role of the loser.

His drawings exhibit a marked style of realism which shows that he has a disciplined touch and a discerning eye. However, his fellow art students, perhaps with a tinge of jealousy, prefer another student's work of strident, angry lines which Jerome castigates as being reminiscent of the avant garde artist, Cy Twombly. One would assume that the professor would side with technique and discipline before style, but Jerome loses out here as well as the professor prefers the undisciplined scribbling.

The professors at Strathmore are perfect examples of the old aphorism that "Those who can, do, while those who can't, teach." None of the teachers are successful in their careers, or they wouldn't be there. Not only are they jealous of each other, they are jealous of any student who exhibits enough potential to make it in the outside world. They evidence thinly veiled distaste for a returning graduate who has made it out in the real world in spite of Strathmore, and he comes back for a graduate presentation only to lambaste the school and its teachers.

The starting point for any burgeoning artist would be to win the annual freshman exhibition which is judged by a jury of city art critics. Beyond that is the holy grail of receiving a one man show at the local coffee house and art gallery run by Broadway Bob (Steve Buschemi).

The ever hustling Jerome meets with another Strathmore professor, Sophie (Angelica Huston), at Broadway Bob's to plead his case for victory in the freshman art contest. She gives him a sympathetic hearing but can promise little.

His real problem is that he receives little positive reinforcement from Professor Sandiford (John Malkovich), the freshman class art teacher who does little more than challenge each student to post his or her best work each week and then have it considered in the light of class criticism. Sandiford is a bitter man who has been painting triangles for 25 years, "long before any of the others," but he has little to show for his efforts. Like all his other film characters, Malkovich fills his role here with his special brand of charisma and passion.

Sandiford passes over Jerome's classically drawn works in favor of the childish and naive drawings by Jonah (Matt Keeslar), as he considers them to be more representative of the soul of art. To Jerome's chagrin, the rest of the class agrees with him.

A far greater disappointment occurs when the artists' model, Audrey (Sophia myles), truly does turn out to be the girl of his dreams but, just like the girls back in high school, she prefers the more athletic and mature Jonah to the slight and thoughtful Jerome. At least Audrey is impressed by Jerome's talent and especially by his loving portraits of her. The two visit coffee shops and art shows together, but only as friends.

My problem with this plot line is the utter lack of believability of any artists' model, who would have to be an older woman as Audrey is here, finding a man of Jerome's age and lack of sophistication to be attractive. In the real world, how many freshman are ever successful with upper-class women or with older women who are tangentially involved with campus life?

Jerome spends a lot of time in the company of Bardo, who has been around campus a long time and knows all the ins and outs of campus life. Late one night after a bout of drinking, Bardo brings Jerome downtown to a sprawling rent-controlled flat inhabited by Jimmy (Jim Broadbent), another failed artist who lives for drink and little else. Entrance is only allowed if the visitor brings a bottle of cheap hootch as a gift.

Bardo and Jerome crash in Jimmy's living room long enough to hear his tirade against the cruelty of the art world practiced against those who have real talent. Jimmy goes on to rant about every artist needing a gimmick instead of talent to be successful.

Jerome begins to wonder if there is more than a little truth to this statement since he is obviously the most talented student in his class and yet no one else will ever give him any credit for it.

Grade: B, Recommended? A modest recommendation for those who have experienced life in an academy such as this.

A movie review by Carl Zapffe (05/27/06)

Bardo (Joel Moore) and Jerome (Max Minghella)

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